All I want for Christmas…??? part 2

Whoops – yesterday I had my eighth annual Christmas ladies lunch. The six of us have known each other for years but don’t get together very often at this stage. So…lots of good food, good gossip and good prosecco! But no blogging – sorry. 

Anyways, back to the Obnoxious One and his quest for the perfect Christmas present for his girlfriend. After lengthy discussions, I was a good mommy and ordered the necklace on net-a-porter. Even I thought it looked quite pretty – sterling silver with charms signifying Love, Luck and Hope.

As a typical stay at home mom, I of course, have absolutely unlimited amounts of time to humour every SINGLE wish and desire of each of my darling children. Who cares about cleaning the house,

doing the laundry,

walking the dogs,

cleaning up after the dogs,

and cooking dinner every single night?

After all, putting up the tree and decorating the home for Christmas, 

purchasing gifts for ALL members of the family (myself included),

wrapping said gifts,

mailing said gifts to the far corners of Canada, as well as designing, writing and mailing the family Christmas cards

takes no time at all and can EASILY be done in my sleep.  Anyways, my children are FAR too busy with homework and other very important things to worry about such details.



No sarcasm here. Not at all.

Well, before I could blink, the package from net-a-porter arrived.

First time I’ve EVER been annoyed that I received an item too quickly! Wonderful, right? – not so much this time. You see, the necklace the Obnoxious One wanted to give his girl turned out to be the size of my pinky finger – actually the nail of my pinky finger –  but he thought it was going to be the size of my palm.

Oh dear!

So I emailed him a couple of photos of the necklace, and described it with words such as fine, delicate, pretty… His reaction? – lots and lots of f bombs dropped. Ah, the perils of internet shopping. The result? – lots and lots of phone calls back and forth. Lots of conversations involving other websites. Additional negotiations involving budget.

In fact, I spent the ENTIRE weekend on the phone with the Obnoxious One debating the merits of various possibilities. Return the necklace? Purchase another necklace? Buy a scarf instead since Ontario is cold? Consider a cashmere scarf or gloves? A few more websites were added to the mix, like jcrew , bluefly and beyond the rack.

Oh, and did I mention that in the meantime the Obnoxious One was supposed to be studying for exams? His first exam, Economics was Saturday morning. He was pretty nervous going in…and shell shocked going out. A flurry of additional phone calls with mommy and daddy provided words of wisdom and much needed encouragement. Apparently, all the kids thought the exam was brutal, so by Saturday evening the Obnoxious One was feeling a bit better about school – just not about Christmas.

By this time, the girlfriend had informed the Obnoxious One that she had bought him tons and tons of “small” things online. Great, but what does “small” really mean? Under $20? Under $50? Or under $500?

Finally Sunday evening “we” decided to keep the necklace, and purchase a designer scarf to add to it. Yep, call me a sucker. He chose a green one by Missoni (on sale) to match her green eyes.

“Mom, girls love that kind of stuff, you know.”

“Yes darling, but are you sure her eyes are green?”

Well, I guess they are now, no matter what!

When his sister, the Demon Child checked out the photo of the scarf online, her response was, “Ew, that’s SO ugly! Who bought that? Is my brother crazy? Doesn’t he like his girlfriend?”

Let’s hope she keeps her opinion to herself for the benefit of all. I would like to have a NICE Christmas this year with limited to no slamming of doors, screeching of voices or breakage of items.

By the way, my husband, the Original Obnoxious One didn’t understand what the fuss was all about. After all, according to him, “she’s lucky to be receiving any kind of jewellery from her boyfriend.”

Really!

All I want for Christmas is …???

It can be really tough for anyone to buy a holiday present for that special someone, but especially this year for my son, the Obnoxious One. The pressure is on him to choose something wonderful for his girlfriend that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.

 Last Christmas they’d just been dating for a couple of months, so he (actually moi) bought her Coach perfume.

The hardest part was trying to figure out how to sign the card. From? With affection and LUST? (He was 17 after all) Or with love?

A huge minefield – in the end he signed it “with affection”, and then she didn’t even give him a card. The smart girl skirted the issue completely! Let me tell you, we teased the Obnoxious One mercilessly over that one.

This year the dilemma is extremely complicated because:

  • she is an only child  who has everything, absolutely everything
  • for Valentine’s day he took her out for a very nice dinner downtown and bought her pink roses
  • for her birthday he gave her a beautiful sterling silver cuff
  • at the end of July the Obnoxious One broke up with her – not because he didn’t like her anymore, but because they were both heading off to university far from home, and he thought they should meet other people - see You did what?!
  • sometime during the past month or two the Obnoxious One and this girl got back together, but obviously they have a history; he can’t just buy her a t-shirt and call it a day
  • the Obnoxious One will have to face her parents when they come home – Ha, there is justice in this world. I can hardly wait!

So, what to do? First step was to call his mommy. He was determined to get her jewellery and in particular a necklace. We had a discussion about various options and price range, etc., etc. As the Obnoxious One is an internet shopper extraordinaire, he directed me to a couple of sites, net-a-porter.com and dealuxe.ca. (Yes, he does have good taste – especially with my money!) His over-riding concern was that he send her the right message – i.e. that he is NOT going to cheat on her during the boys’ trip he’s planned for reading week in February.

So, the plot thickens…Clearly he assumes that they will still be together in February( three months is forever to a teenager after all).  Clearly he cares about her feelings since he wants to placate her (usually he just doesn’t care). It must REALLY be affection/lust/love!

I can hardly wait to see the two of them together again.

But, as these things go, it’s never ALL clear sailing. More tomorrow…

Really.

What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is ours

So I admit that I’ve uttered these words on occasion, but usually in connection with closet space; specifically my husband’s closet or shelf or desk or cash or…

Imagine my shock and chagrin when I heard these words pouring forth from the lips of  my daughter, the Demon Child?!  Yes, it seems that in the past few months she has grown taller and slimmer so that now she can fit into  MY clothes and shoes. And she’s decided that she even likes some of my stuff. What happened to the Teenage Fashion Police of just a few months ago who hated EVERYTHING I wore? Wonders will never cease.

The thing is I’m not very good at sharing because I never had to do it growing up. My sister is almost ten years younger, so by the time I got married she was still a young teenager. My mother has had weight issues for the past 50 years, so sharing her clothes was never an option. And my husband’s taste in clothing is conservative and traditional and just plain boring; plus most of his casual stuff is 25 years old and ugly.

But the real kicker is that I’m not allowed to touch ANYTHING in the Demon Child’s closet.

“So darling, how come you can wear my clothes but I can’t wear yours?”

“Because I’m amazing, Mom. And you’re old. Don’t be like those other West Van moms who try to be teenagers. It’s gross.”  - she may have a point but I’ll never admit that.

“But what about this sweater of yours? It’s kind of cute and you haven’t worn it in a while” - I could nab this right now and she’d never notice!

“Ew Mom. NO! That came from Artizia. You can NOT wear anything from Aritzia. It’s only for teens and girls in their 20′s.” – somehow this doesn’t seem quite right!

I know I’m in big trouble when her laser focus nails me and she boldly proclaims, “I like that Mom. Think I’ll just have to steal it from you.”

And she does. Especially now that she’s on a budget, she loves shopping for free – in my closet and drawers.

So I’ve started hiding anything I really like that  I want to keep to myself – in various closets around the house, under my husband’s piles of junk,and in the dog’s kennel. Because you see, when she returns something to me, it has holes in it or has shrunk 2 sizes or is just totally ruined. Or she simply keeps it forever, like the first classic Coach bag I bought 20 years ago when I first started making real money. Somehow it has vanished into her room, never to return.

My solution? I figure my only alternative is to go shopping.

Like I need an excuse. Really!