The devil inside

The other evening while I was blissfully catching up on emails and writing my latest blog post, unbeknownst to me, my darling daughter, the Demon Child was downtown with a girlfriend. Granted they had no school the next day, but still, I like to receive advance notice of these kind of excursions. Apparently they were “hanging out”…words that send shivers down my spine, especially when that “hanging” takes place at night.

When it’s dark.

And late.

But the best was yet to come.

I sent her a text message shortly before 10 pm inquiring exactly where she was and when she would get home; she told me not to worry because she was walking home on the bridge.

So my sixteen year old daughter and her clueless girlfriend were WALKING eleven kilometers (almost seven miles) from downtown Vancouver to the middle of  West Vancouver via the Lions Gate Bridge at 10pm at night because they ate too much, and wanted to walk it off. 

We do have a perfectly good bus system, but hey, why be safe?

Is the Demon Child  stupidly naive, or is she just trying to torment me?! And yes, the tormenting part has definitely worked!

Eventually we did have an actual cell phone conversation where I expressed concern about what she was doing; she failed to understand why I was a wee bit upset. But when I suggested that I discuss the situation with her friend’s mom, the friend just about jumped off the bridge then and there in protest.

We all agreed that I would pick them up asap at Park Royal, the mall that is located just off the Lions Gate Bridge in West Vancouver. While driving en-route I received another phone call from my darling daughter. This time she confessed that they had walked on the wrong side of the bridge and now were stuck in North Vancouver…in front of the First Nations reserve at 10:30 pm. Need I say more???

Oh and by the way, West Vancouver’s dirty little secret is that we have a rat infestation problem – rats jump off the cargo and container ships and swim to the North Shore. Homes are the waterfront are especially susceptible. Some bright soul decided the way to fight off the rats was to increase the skunk and raccoon population. Now, when the sun goes down the skunks and raccoons come out to play…with rats, garbage, and sixteen year old children!

We’re not talking teeny tiny cute varmints either! If anyone gets in there way – good luck!

So really, is the Demon Child trying to kill me before my time? After all, I have joined the half century club. My nerves are quite tender. My hair just might turn white and fall out (due to constant pulling and tearing). Despite frequent pilates classes and dog walking along the trails of the North Shore, I could have a heart attack and keel over at any moment.

I bet she knows all this and is just plain evil…she does take after my beloved husband, the Original Obnoxious One after all!

I did pick the girls up. I did not strangle, shoot or maim them. I was VERY VERY VERY angry though. I refrained from yelling…too much.

Of course the next day the Demon Child claimed that it was her crazy friend’s idea to walk home  via the Lions Gate Bridge on the wrong side…

Right…and I’m 29.



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