So I admit that I’ve uttered these words on occasion, but usually in connection with closet space; specifically my husband’s closet or shelf or desk or cash or…
Imagine my shock and chagrin when I heard these words pouring forth from the lips of my daughter, the Demon Child?! Yes, it seems that in the past few months she has grown taller and slimmer so that now she can fit into MY clothes and shoes. And she’s decided that she even likes some of my stuff. What happened to the Teenage Fashion Police of just a few months ago who hated EVERYTHING I wore? Wonders will never cease.
The thing is I’m not very good at sharing because I never had to do it growing up. My sister is almost ten years younger, so by the time I got married she was still a young teenager. My mother has had weight issues for the past 50 years, so sharing her clothes was never an option. And my husband’s taste in clothing is conservative and traditional and just plain boring; plus most of his casual stuff is 25 years old and ugly.
But the real kicker is that I’m not allowed to touch ANYTHING in the Demon Child’s closet.
“So darling, how come you can wear my clothes but I can’t wear yours?”
“Because I’m amazing, Mom. And you’re old. Don’t be like those other West Van moms who try to be teenagers. It’s gross.” – she may have a point but I’ll never admit that.
“But what about this sweater of yours? It’s kind of cute and you haven’t worn it in a while” – I could nab this right now and she’d never notice!
“Ew Mom. NO! That came from Artizia. You can NOT wear anything from Aritzia. It’s only for teens and girls in their 20’s.” – somehow this doesn’t seem quite right!
I know I’m in big trouble when her laser focus nails me and she boldly proclaims, “I like that Mom. Think I’ll just have to steal it from you.”
And she does. Especially now that she’s on a budget, she loves shopping for free – in my closet and drawers.
So I’ve started hiding anything I really like that I want to keep to myself – in various closets around the house, under my husband’s piles of junk,and in the dog’s kennel. Because you see, when she returns something to me, it has holes in it or has shrunk 2 sizes or is just totally ruined. Or she simply keeps it forever, like the first classic Coach bag I bought 20 years ago when I first started making real money. Somehow it has vanished into her room, never to return.
My solution? I figure my only alternative is to go shopping.
Like I need an excuse. Really!