Happy F–ing New Year in F–ing Paradise

Our family of four arrived in paradise, aka Barcelo Los Cabos just after Christmas. The doggies went to a resort of their own – a great spot called The Bowen Island Dog Ranch run by an amazing group of folks. Anyways, we enjoyed a few days of terrific weather – warm and sunny days with temperatures of mid 70’s. Delicious dinners, lovely rooms (one for the kids and one for us), beautiful beach and wonderful Margaritas were all part of this paradise…until the fourth night.  Then, we  found out the LOUD way that there was a disco right behind our building that blasted music until 2am. Maybe once upon a time I wouldn’t have minded the “noise” and would’ve joined the party, but at this stage of my life, I REALLY need my beauty sleep.

So anger barely held in check, I approached the manager and discussed our situation – okay, actually I demanded another room. I was shown a few options, but was warned that the first couple could be just as noisy since there was yet another disco on the other side of the resort. Really?! I finally settled on a family suite – better view of the beach although closer to the main pool and lower down. Now to get the family to sign on.

Well, a heck of a lot easier said than done…the Obnoxious One didn’t really care one way or the other as he was up to the wee hours socializing every night anyways. (turns out there was a family staying at the resort he knew) The Original Obnoxious One can sleep through anything – and usually does (see The Conspiracy of Rolling in the Deep) – so he was ambivalent. The Demon Child decided there was no way in hell she was moving – she liked her room, and I was “like, totally, like, over exaggerating”.

My slow burn started raging and roaring and threatened everything and everyone in sight. Remember, I am a women going through the Change in Life.

Luckily my husband, the Original Obnoxious One knows me well …so he and I moved into the family suite and the kids stayed where they were. Of course we had to pay an extra charge. Of course the room we moved to had no hot water – what kind of five star hotel has no hot water for showers?! Of course the new room had no towels, no hair dryers, no bottled water and no hypoallergenic pillows either. Of course it took many, many phone calls to get these things sorted out. Of course on New Year’s Eve the resort blasted noise straight into our new room.

Of course the Original Obnoxious One and I had a huge argument on New Years Eve about all of the above, as well as his weird and wacky behaviour during the previous days. Whoops –  turns out that unbeknownst to the kids and I, he was on heavy-duty medication for the prevention of deep vein thrombosis.(he’s been hospitalized twice before for dangerous blood clots)

Of course the Demon Child had a major meltdown at the EXACT same time. Turns out that she hated our family, because we are the worst parents in the entire world. She wanted to be with her friends and not us, because THEY love her, THEY appreciate her. She wanted to go home immediately. And of course I was “such a bitch”. And oh yeah, once she left home she was NEVER going to speak with us again.

Oh the drama…

The Demon Child slammed a few doors and marched off to her room to skype with her precious friends. The Original Obnoxious One slammed a few doors and marched off to the small quiet bedroom; how he slept through all the racket I’ll never know! The Obnoxious One and I looked at each other, tiptoed out of the suite and slunk off dejectedly in search of music and champagne – after all, it WAS New Year’s Eve.

Well we found both the music and champagne. Wow, what a New Years. Yeah…just f–ing lovely.

The good news is that the next day I apologized profusely to my husband and he forgave me. My daughter apologized to both my husband and me for real, unlike in the past when she said she was sorry that I was a bitch. (apparently she had her period and her friends were bragging about how great their New Years was without her) Of course we forgave her too. My son…well he was hung over for much of the day, but that’s another story. 😉


P.S. as you can tell, I LOVE iCLIPART and Maxine.


1 thought on “Happy F–ing New Year in F–ing Paradise

  1. Pingback: Brilliant, brave or just plain batty? | Rita's Reflections

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