The Bathroom Wars

There are two subjects in our household that get everyone excited about – excited enough to  loudly discuss &/or argue &/or battle over. They are:

1) money

2) bathrooms

Oh sure, we discuss many, many issues and even disagree on quite a few, but it still always boils down to these two.

Money is rather obvious – my kids ask and/or beg and/or demand something and I say… NO.

Hey that’s as mother’s job. And that’s an accountant’s job and that’s what I was in a previous life. Not much real challenge here. Plus both my kids like money and I hold the purse-strings…unless they ambush my husband when he’s in a good mood and then anything can happen…sigh. Sometimes I even say yes…just to keep them on their toes.

So – the Bathroom Wars.

In this house the kids have to share a bathroom, which is tragic of course because all their friends have their own bathroom. But don’t worry — I tell them that back in the dinosaur ages when I was growing up, my mom, dad, sister and I shared one tiny bathroom. Yes, just one! For some reason they don’t seem too impressed by this fact. Besides, I told them they were lucky since the toilet and shower/tub are in one room, and the sink is in an alcove just outside.

Regardless for the past ten years we have listened to:

My daughter, the Demon Child loudly complain to my son, the Obnoxious One, ” Put the toilet seat up when you pee – the seat and floor are covered in pee. You’re so gross!”

To which the Obnoxious One would yell, “Then flush the toilet when you’re finished.You’re disgusting!”

This Christmas , the Obnoxious One made a habit of not flushing just to bug his darling sister, so she wrote on his Christmas present,

Spelling has never been her strong point.

Now that my son is away at university, my daughter has decided that the bathroom is hers, and hers alone; she does not want anyone using it ever again. So she has had major words with my husband because his study is on the other side of my son’s bedroom…thus he uses the kids bathroom on weekends when he’s home.

“Dad you can use the bathroom downstairs or you can use the bathroom in your bedroom, but this is MY bathroom. You are not allowed in here!”

The worst fit she threw was when my poor husband stumbled into “her” bathroom late at night and used it, since I was busy in our en-suite. (don’t worry – he flushed!) The Demon Child tormented him nonstop for weeks after that.

“Dad, I was just getting to sleep and you woke me up! Because of you I was wide awake for hours afterwards.”

“Dad, that’s MY private space. How dare you violate it! Just stay away.”

“Dad, go downstairs if you need to use another bathroom. It’s not that difficult!”

Of course, he just laughed at her…then he used the bathroom downstairs.

As for me? Frankly, I wouldn’t be caught dead in that bathroom – it’s totally disgusting AND gross!

Really!

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5 thoughts on “The Bathroom Wars

    • Yeah – good thing my son is enjoying the sun in the Dominican Republic (reading week at university) and my daughter is too involved in the every day drama of her own life to think or look at this – for now anyways.

  1. This just cracks me up! I am dealing with the bathroom issue of everyone coming in while I am using the bathroom. Very annoying. Today it was, “Mom, can I have a Tootsie Pop?” Pretty much, I say yes to everything when I am in there just to get them to leave! Lol!

  2. I had that issue with my daughter when she was younger – boundaries were meaningless to her when she was determined. So, there’s a scene in my manuscript that involves the main character pursuing her mom through the house and almost right into the bathroom – hopefully a funny scene. I figure there’s inspiration everywhere…

  3. Pingback: Where the hell am I? « Fisch Fail, INC.

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