Between a JAR and a JAR

Life in my house is never dull; if we’re not laughing with each other than we’re usually screaming at arguing with each other. Lately I’ve had so much drama fun because my daughter  the Demon Child/Weird One is becoming more and more like my husband, the Original Obnoxious One every day – much to her chagrin. Not looks-wise so much, although I do think she looks more like him than me 😦 , but personality-wise big-time. Huge time in fact! Yes, the JAR-JAR team is alive and well in my family.

In fact, my daughter and husband named themselves the JAR JAR Team when the fourth Star Wars movie came out in 1999; my daughter LOVED the Jar Jar Binks character,

Jar Jar Binks courtesy

and by coincidence, the initials of both my husband and daughter  are JAR. They’re also both Taurus – and extremely stubborn and argumentative – and both have ADHD. The Weird One does for sure – I have the Pscyh-Ed Assessment to prove it – and we’re pretty sure the Original Obnoxious One does too, or rather did. After more than 25 years of marriage he’s grown up. Okay, just a wee bit. So they are both creative but easily distracted, innovative but easily bored, impulsive, energetic and capable of extraordinary hyper-focus. But me? Well, I’m a highly organized,analytical, detail oriented, accountant who has great short term memory.My husband is a lawyer, but where he really excels is in his big picture thinking, his ability to talk to and charm people (other lawyers, clients and occasionally his children) and his hyper-focus on issues that he loves.

After many years together, we’ve kind of softened each other’s edges – so he’s a little less impulsive and eccentric and I’m a little more creative and innovative. But the other half of the JAR JAR team? I’ve only had 17 years to work on her, so her edges are still pretty sharp.Which is all fine…within reason. But of course, reason rarely has anything to do with anything in my family.

The real drama occurs when both the Original Obnoxious One and the Weird One are hyper-focused on something at the exact same time and desperately require my help . Immediately. At the same time. I’ll give you an example.

Recently my husband and I had a mandatory work-related function on a Sunday night. He didn’t want to go, but had to suck it up. This being Vancouver, the rain was teeming down, the streets were slick and there were multiple car accidents everywhere; the traffic on our preferred route was backed up and not moving. As the Original Obnoxious One drove, he vibrated with tension, pouted up a storm and swore nonstop. Meanwhile I tried to calmly reassure him and frantically find another route. My cell phone rang at the most inopportune time, and through the speaker system of the car we heard:

“Mom where are you? Who’s going to make me dinner tonight?”

“Darling, I told you ten times. Your dad and I are out this evening.”

“No you didn’t.”


“Okay, whatever. I wasn’t listening. But what am I going to do for dinner?”

Of course right at that very moment the Original Obnoxious One just had to interrupt. “Rita, hang up the phone. I need you to focus right now!”

“Just a minute dear,” I said to my hubby. Then to my daughter,  ” well why don’t you make yourself some soup?”

“Mom, how do I do that?”

“Rita, I need your help!”

To my hubby, “I said just a minute.

To my daughter,”Sweetie, get a can of tomato soup from the cupboard, open it with a can-opener and heat it up.”

“Rita, where do we go? Listen to me RIGHT NOW!”

“Mom, where’s the can-opener?”

“In the cupboard sweetie –  you can figure it out. Gotta go! Love you.”




“Rita, we don’t have any gas. Find a gas station NOW!”


Was it any wonder I needed wanted a drink when we finally arrived at our destination? Really!



4 thoughts on “Between a JAR and a JAR

    • Um, this would have been a VERY different post if I had written it the day after when I wasn’t very calm – not at all! Now I can laugh about it, but then – not so much. Like anything else, there are great days and….challenging days. 😉

  1. That sounds so familiar! Teenage girls with ADD surely must be the most annoying, pesky species on the planet. But rest assured, they’ll grow out of it. The tricky part is for parents (and grandparents like me) to survive it and retain at least a modicum of sanity.

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