That’s right – no more family vacation for my children, the Demon Child and the Obnoxious One. And yes, I have a new moniker: the Vacation Nazi! After all, I put a fair bit of time and effort sorting through the myriad of choices out there to come up with the best for our family.
For those of you too young to remember or those who have forgotten the Soup Nazi (although how anyone could forget I don’t know) here’s a quick trip down the Seinfeld memory lane:
So why have I become the Vacation Nazi? Am I shooting myself in the foot once again? Yes, I am, but with good reason. Although I still intend to go on vacations, and my hubby can come too if he’s nice, which he usually is. Mostly. 😉
As I wrote in my last post, ( see So we had a super busy holiday planned but we could still do more right?) we encountered a few hiccups just before our trip to Cabo over New Years – lost ski passes, lost keys and lost laptops. Those delights were topped off with:
ridiculouslyvery early morning flight that was delayed
- cold rain upon landing in Cabo,
- screwed-up room reservations which became evident upon our arrival at Dreams.
You know you’re in for a treat when they assign your 19 year old son and 17 year old daughter a Honeymoon Suite…together…
especially when they barely tolerate each other on the best of days. But sleep in the same bed, even if it is King sized? When they were 4 and 6 that was one thing.But now? Heck, it was a major undertaking just to get them to stand beside each other and smile for this one photo!
So yeah, we had a rough start to our vacation. The weather didn’t cooperate for the first few days either – it was cool, cloudy and super windy. Regardless, we made up for it with long walks on the beach, long periods of reading on our rooms as well as numerous tests and samples of the various lounges and restaurants on the property. It was an all inclusive after all, and somebody had to do the research. That generally meant my son and me. Rough life, eh? Although, often it just meant my son, especially late at night…which led to a few interesting moments, I understand. Such as one evening when he was asked to perform a lap dance on the bride-to-be. Yeah! Apparently he didn’t, but regardless, exactly what this crazy mother with perfectionist tendencies trying to raise a sensitive son wanted to hear. Right!
However, the definitive moment, the pièce de résistance came one afternoon when I received a phone call from our daughter. She was crying,hyperventilating and screaming about her brother. I immediately went into problem-solving, mom-to-the-rescue mode. I had visions of :
- her brother having a heart attack or appendicitis or a seizure
- an attacker in their room assaulting her brother
- a drug kingpin murdering her brother
So what was the problem? The Demon Child decided that her brother had been on their shared WiFi long enough and it was now her turn. Apparently they had an agreement and he broke it. Yeah, OMG that was the BIG emergency!
I must admit I wasn’t very sympathetic towards either one. I mean, really! My son, the Obnoxious One was totally disgusted and complained about his sister and every other little thing he could think of. When I called him on his behaviour he admitted with a wicked grin that he liked to complain. When I called my daughter on her behaviour she admitted she got upset, but after all, a deal’s a deal.
So….no more family vacation for you!
Not for one year.
Or maybe longer.
P.S. On the third day of our trip we phoned home and located our daughter’s laptop computer. Apparently the bus driver found it and kept it for us. There are good people in this world, heck there are great people in this world. Hallelujah!