I love my husband, but right now I just want to kill him !

During three of the past five weeks my husband, the Original Obnoxious One, has been away on business. Leaving me home alone with the Demon Child, Killer and Franklinstein. And believe me, my daughter, the Demon Child has been rather…challenging. As I’ve said before, the Demon Child +PMS + stress from Grade 12 exams and essays + anxiety over University applications means that all I have to do is open my mouth or knock on her bedroom door

Nervous2

courtesy iclipart.com

and the result is:

courtesy iclipart.com

courtesy iclipart.com

So when I mentioned that her jeans looked a little tight, thinking they shrank in the washer or dryer, her reaction was,

“How can you say such a thing? You’re a terrible mother! You’re a horrible person! How dare you tell me I look FAT!!!”

courtesy iclipart.com

courtesy iclipart.com

Right, yeah. My daughter sure looks fat to me. Don’t you think so too?!IMG_2022

Of course, this was after she told me that I was too old to wear the cozy plaid James Perse shirt I just bought, that my shoes were ugly and that my coat was too bright and obnoxious, and that my belly was too big. Oh and dinner was terrible and could she please have money to go buy food. Anything for you darling! And… it was raining a lot in Vancouver, as it tends to do in February. Yep, it rained every single solitary day. So, I was barely coping.

Back to my husband, the Original Obnoxious One  – first of all he went to China (actually Hong Kong and Beijing). That was okay because I knew the weather wasn’t great, the air was foul and I’ve been recently. The second business trip my husband went on without me was to Laguna Beach. Who but a bunch of corporate lawyers go to Laguna Beach for business?! And by the way, the other partner he went with took his wife. Can you hear my teeth gnashing?! But just in case I wasn’t exactly sure what I was missing (I’ve never been to Laguna Beach and would love to go), the Original Obnoxious One emailed me numerous shots of the resort where he stayed and of the beach where he went running. In a fit of  rage clarity, I deleted all the photos he sent. But they looked rather like this :

Montage Laguna Beach

courtesy Montage Laguna Beach

and this:

Montage Laguna Beach (2)

courtesy Montage Laguna Beach

I sure wouldn’t want to go there, not when it looked like this at home:

courtesy Vancouver Sun

courtesy Vancouver Sun

On his third trip he spent several days golfing with buddies clients and potential clients in Oregon,

that's my guy taking the shot

that’s my guy taking the shot

and then a couple of days in San Francisco.  Now I’m not a golfer, so I wasn’t too choked about missing Oregon, but San Francisco??? Hello, what’s not to love? – the architecture  the people, the food, the shopping, the jazz bars!? And yes, once again he sent me numerous photos – for some reason I deleted most but kept this one:

San Francisco-20130211-00112And to add insult to injury, in BC it was our very first Family Day – which I was celebrating by writing helping my daughter with her History essay on the Cold War. Hmmm…writing a Grade 12 essay on Stalin vs. shopping in the sunshine in San Francisco  Gee, I really don’t know which I would prefer.

So when my husband the Original Obnoxious One finally came home, I treated him as any mature, thoughtful, woman would – I yelled at him, pouted big time, went to bed early without him and totally ignored him.

courtesy iclipart.com

courtesy iclipart.com

But I really wanted to kill him and still do! So when psychologists opine that women have much higher Emotional IQ’s (than men) because of their ability to handle difficult situations with tact and professionalism, and site their conflict management and relationship building skills, I say absolutely!

By the way, the next day I informed my dear darling husband that should he ever find himself travelling somewhere lovely without me, he should keep his friggin’ photos to himself. Really!

 What do you do when your loved one deserts you and then emails you the “nasty” details?

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2 thoughts on “I love my husband, but right now I just want to kill him !

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