Before it was mandated by our local government and before it was trendy, our daughter, the Wild Child, was totally obsessed with Saving the Environment.
Maybe it had to do with living in a temperate rain forest and the hiking we do here, rain or sun.
Perhaps it’s because of the summers we’ve spent on Indian Arm swimming and tubing and boating.
Whatever the case, the Wild Child has always loved lecturing us about the dos and don’ts of looking after the planet and all of its amazing natural inhabitants, including mice and bats and snakes. Oh Joy.
In fact, for her father’s Christmas present this past year, she made a generous donation on his behalf to the British Hen Welfare Trust. The Original Obnoxious One is now the very proud sponsor of Sky and Sparkle, two thankful British hens who are enjoying the great outdoors for the first time ever .
See, I’m not making this stuff up!
She was the one who insisted we collect and recycle as many water bottles and tin cans as humanly possible, even if it meant trolling the neighbourhood and the beaches and the parks. She was the one who took part in the Great Canadian Shoreline Cleanup over and over and over again. Funny that she was rarely the one to clean up after the dog – asking, commanding, coercing never worked with her but sometimes bribery did. Especially when she was broke and wanted a couple dollars for candy.
She was the one who decried smokers – she loudly and frequently insisted smoking was Evil and she would never ever be friends with anyone who smoked.
Fast forward several years and our Hippie-Dippie Wild Child’s boyfriend smokes cigarettes constantly, but well, let’s not go there today.
She’s been the only member of our family who has embraced vegetarianism because it’s good for the environment – all that flatulence from all those cows and all that waste material in the watershed from all those pigs . And don’t get her started on the wonders and glories of PETA.
Tragically the rest of us are hard-core carnivores; we adore meat and poultry and fish. But I do buy organic meat and poultry and the seafood I purchase is Ocean Wise. The Hippie-Dippie Wild Child desperately aspires to be vegan, but is not a huge fan of beans or nuts; she loves her cheese and omelettes and Nutella way too much.
And she hates to actually prepare food.
Of course she also talks a lot about water conservation, but heck, we live in a rain-forest in one of the rainiest cities in Canada! We frequently experience road and bridge washouts because it rains on the North Shore an average of 180 days per year.
And the water in our taps comes from the
creek raging river beside us – our small community accesses, purifies and tests the water on a regular basis, and it tastes amazing.
So there’s not a lot of incentive on our part to cut back on heavenly long hot showers or totally thorough toothbrush sessions. She also advises us not to flush the toilet after every use, but now that we’ve moved to the outskirts of the city, we actually have our own septic system, and it which benefits from regular flushes, believe me!
But this past summer she came home with her latest and greatest idea to Save the Environment. And she just had to share this exciting news with my son, The Obnoxious One, right when he was diving into an amazing brunch he’d just concocted of eggs and fresh guacamole and artisan toast and…kinda like this.
“Hey guess what? I’m so proud of myself, you have no idea!”
“Oh, yeah…?” Chomp, chomp. “So what is it?”
“Well I’m really helping out the environment big time. I’ve started using reusable pads.”
“Whatever, that’s nice.” Chomp, chomp
“Yeah it’s so must better for the environment – none of that waste in the landfills or in the sewage system. And it’s no big deal, really. I just have to do a little bit of extra laundry once a month.”
“Wait, what the heck are you talking about?!”
“Reusable pads, I told you.”
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! EEEWWW!! GO AWAY! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!”
“Darling, not the best time (when someone is eating) or place (the kitchen table) or even audience (The Obnoxious One) to have this discussion.”