Imagine my consternation when shortly into the new school year, my daughter the Demon Child, announced, “Mom, there’s a NEW MAN in my life. His name is George*. I’d like you to meet him on Friday”
Oh my goodness…is this an older guy? Is he 30, balding, unemployed and only interested in one thing? Does he smoke pot all day long? Does she have a clue what she’s doing? Is he going to sell her into white slavery?
While all these thoughts raced around in my head, I replied as nonchalantly as possible, “That’s nice dear. I look forward to it.”
With the Demon Child I have learned through trial and error (many trials, many errors), that it’s best not to ask too many questions too soon. So, I bit my tongue…for twelve whole hours. Quite impressive don’t you think?! The next morning while I was driving her to school, I asked as coolly as possible, “So, does George go to your high school?”
She glanced at me in astonishment. “Of course Mom” Oh thank God thank God thank God
“Is he in your grade?” grade 11
“Yeah” I was on a roll.
“Is he in any of your classes?”
“No Mom, but why do you care?” Whoops…I had gone too far. I quickly changed the subject.
During the next couple of days they spent a great deal of time together – lunch dates, shopping outings downtown after school. Finally Friday arrived. I prepared myself for the worst. In walked the Demon Child…and a very sweet, innocent looking teenage boy with a buzz cut. He looked me straight in the eye and shook my hand. After chatting with me for a bit, they informed me ever so politely that they were going downtown to see a movie.
Turns out they went to see…wait for it…The Lion King in 3D.
Wow – I figured it must be true love, at least on his part. I mean, come on, what 16 year old guy wants to be caught dead watching The Lion King?! The next day after gauging the Demon Child’s mood – which was quite positive – I asked her what their status was.
“Is George your boyfriend?”
“Yeah, I guess he is. What do you think of him? Did you like him?” Oh man! She actually ASKED for my opinion. She was actually interested in a nice boy.
I consciously tried not to froth too much at the mouth when I oh so casually mumbled, “Oh yes, he seems fine dear.” Holy Cow – things are finally turning around between the Demon Child and me. She is turning over a new leaf. Life as we know it is going to be grand!
Fast forward a week…then two weeks…no mention of George. No trips downtown after school. No movie dates.
I finally got up the courage to enquire, “So what happened to George? You haven’t mentioned him in awhile.”
“Oh Mom, he is SO annoying. He sends me text messages all the time. He wants to be with me all the time. When I first started this new school I thought it would be good to have a boyfriend. But now that I have some really nice girlfriends – Natasha, Dana, Melanie and Amanda – I decided that I don’t need or want a boyfriend.”
Okay then. Poor, poor George.
That might have been the end of the sad story, except that tomorrow night the Demon Child is going to a concert in downtown Vancouver. She begged me a few months ago to buy her four tickets online; I did so but only with the understanding that she had to reimburse me for the cost of three. In typical teenage fashion, at the last minute all of her girlfriends baled on her, so she had to find three new kids to go with her. So guess who? – two new girls, and…George.
Should be VERY interesting. Really!
*names have been changed to protect the innocent